A special day…
We had a very special day at Union Church today. First, it has been a special week in general with a pastoral candidate visiting from overseas. He and his wife arrived last Monday, staying until tonight. All week there have been various social and interview-type activities, providing an array of stimulating discussions. Today the candidate preached at the 9:30 and 11:00 AM services. Knowing that he was in town, both services swelled more than normal and the 11 AM service was absolutely packed! (Left: Mr. & Mrs. Roy & Shirley Crane, Wedding Day @ Union Church, Saturday, September 1st, 1956.)
After the first few hymns, and everyone taking a moment to say hello/greet one another, visitors were welcomed and given a chance to introduce themselves. Near the back of the sanctuary a white-haired, elderly lady stood up and shared, with a very distinguished English accent, "My husband and I are visiting today. Many years ago we attended Union Church. In fact, we have returned for our wedding anniversary because we were married 50 years ago in this church!"
The congregation exploded in thunderous applause!
She continued to describe how they were married on September 1st, 1956. After the service the Church gave the newlyweds a leather-bound Bible with their names and the date inscribed in the opening pages, that the lady reported still sat on their bookshelf in the UK. She shared how, in those days, Union Church was a "frightened" Church and no wonder… compared to today. Back then Hong Kong was in the pre-boom period, therefore, still quite small and isolated from the world. Plus, they were just a few years away from the Cultural Revolution and I’m sure trouble across the border was starting to loom.
Still, she described how people would take day trips to Shek-O to go swimming in the ocean (now it takes 45 minutes to drive there) and other picturesque activities of days gone by.
I introduced myself after the service and learned more about their life in Hong Kong, where they lived for several years before moving on to other adventures. It was then that I also learned their names: Mr. & Mrs. Roy & Shirley Crane. (Mrs. Crane’s maiden name was "Gill.") They gave me the above picture and permission to post it on this blog. The amazing thing is… the entrance to Union Church then, looks exactly as it does today. Their presence added a romantic appeal to the day and hopefully confirmed for many that they were in the right place… at the right time.
Where were you…?
When 911 happened Tess and I had moved into our current flat 4.5 months earlier. When we first moved in there was lots to do to fix the place up, so we never got around to figuring out how the TV antenna worked. There was little incentive – we only got two basic and generally boring English channels vs. our previous flat where we got free cable and ten channels! We managed to get the DVD connected, and watched the Sopranos and Nicky Gumble, but never anything directly from the outside world. 911 changed that.
Tess was 6.5 months pregnant with Sebastian at the time. It had been a long day so Tess fell asleep early. I had been home from work a few hours when I got a call from US HR. They wanted to know if I’d heard from my boss, or knew his itinerary. At the time he was on a CX flight from Hong Kong to Toronto, with a stopover in Anchorage. "No," I replied, "best to call his secretary and here’s her number. Why?"
"Something’s happened in New York. I’m not going to stop to explain, just turn on your TV. Bye, Charles," and they hung up.
Of course our TV wasn’t plugged into the building’s fuzzy antenna, and there was no signal from just turning on the TV itself. Lots of static, but that would just wake Tess. I turned to the Internet, instead, starting with CNN.
"Whoa," I thought, "this is weird." CNN was under a denial of service attack – meaning it was being bombarded by hackers and the site crashing. That’s actually not what was happening… it was being bombarded by people trying to get updates. I went to The Drudge Report and MSN… only then did I figure out what was going on. Occasionally CNN.com came through. I distinctly remember the entire site being shut down and CNN posting only one… single… page. Between the three sites and online chats with Tess’ mother, Maureen, I received updates on what was happening. Eventually at about 4 AM HK time (4 PM in New York – the Twin Towers had long collapsed) I went to bed. I lay there for the longest time thinking, "it’s a different world now."
Meanwhile my boss had no idea what was going on… after taking off from the refueling in Anchorage the first plane hit in New York. Not long after that moment his CX flight re-routed to Vancouver, "for technical reasons" said the pilot. As the plane approached YVR my boss watched through his window. "Hmmm," he thought to himself, "there are a lot of 747s at this airport." (Essentially most, if not all, trans-pacific flights inbound to North America at the time – or not far from – were instructed to land in Vancouver.) As my boss’ plane landed he realised a lot of these 747’s were sitting on the tarmac. He looked at the gates to see if they were empty… he saw lots of planes at gates, except they all sat about 3 meters back from the gates. (Afterwards it was explained that the planes were all moved back from the gates as a way to insure they were secure.) That’s when my boss figured out something wasn’t quite right and phoned Gary, one of the company’s Asia Pacific VPs on the East Coast. Gary was working from home that day and ten minutes earlier had watched the second tower fall. Gary relayed the events to our mutual, and shocked, boss who spent the next six hours on the tarmac waiting to de-plane — only to be greeted by Canadian military and mounties dressed as commandoes. He then spent 48 hours in a Vancouver hotel room before turning around and flying back to Hong Kong.
Odd that this week Tess and I decided to take a stab at CSI New York. We learn in the opening episode that the lead character – Mac Taylor played by Gary Sinise – lost his wife in 911. The episode opens with Mac in a church and Mac finds himself at Ground Zero as the episode ends. Seems that Mac struggles with letting go and no doubt, I know I would. But perhaps on this 911 anniversary, as the new buildings break ground and take shape at Ground Zero, I wish people like Mac peace, in hope that they find a way to re-build, too.
My brush with a stingray
News of Australian ‘Crocodile Hunter’ Steve Irwin’s mortal accident struck home here in Hong Kong. Several years ago Irwin was in Hong Kong to catch a croc in the New Territories. The attempt, which lasted for several weeks, failed but Irwin endeared himself to Hong Kongers and I am sure the clever croc, too. (The croc finally slipped away quietly to greener swamps.)
Irwin’s unfortunate death also reminded me of a similar brush with a stingray. When I was six years old (winter of 1968/69) my family sailed from Toronto to the Bahamas via the US eastern seaboard, inter-coastal waterway. Imagine five of us aboard a 28-foot Hinterhoeller sailboat. I have many remarkable memories from that trip… enough, come to think of it, that I’ve created a category on this blog and will share more in the future. But meanwhile, back to the stingray story…
Many of the islands we sailed to in the Bahamas were deserted or sparsely inhabited. One evening we anchored off of a beach, not unlike the one pictured here. Typically once anchored we would ride a small dinghy ashore. We’d hooked up with some friends my parents met along the way who puttered about the Bahamas on a large powerboat. I remember their boat as being white with natural varnished trim, and maybe 40 – 50 feet long. The plan that evening was to have dinner aboard their boat. My sisters and I would return to our boat for bed and the parents would enjoy an after dinner drink in the Caribbean darkness.
The sun was low… it was maybe 5:30 – 6:00 in the late afternoon. We’d been ashore to explore the appealing, deserted beach. I don’t really remember where everyone was at the time, I think ashore, and about to return to our boat before meeting our friends for dinner. Being six years old I was around water enough that I was permitted to play in shallow water provided I wore a lifejacket.
I was playing beside the dinghy when suddenly there was a lot of commotion and shouting from the adults. My dad was about 10 meters away from me, came splashing through the water, picked me up and placed me in the dinghy. He stood very still in the water as a stingray floated along the ocean floor nearby the dinghy. I really had no idea what all the danger was about and was a little perturbed at the playtime interruption. Later I learned to avoid stingrays because their tails could sting much worse than a bee.
During the course of the seven month trip I learned to avoid stingrays, avoid wearing anything shiny in the water (because it would attract barracudas that tended to be more aggressive fish), avoid sea urchins and always wear shoes when walking on coral. By the way, manta rays, look similar to stingrays but are harmless. In The Maldives (where Tess and I spent a week in 1998) the Banyan Tree Resort had manta rays swimming off the beaches that enjoyed being pet by tourists. Unfortunately, the natural oil from a human’s hand on the manta ray skin is very bad for the poor creatures. The resort staff always discouraged petting. (At left, yours truly with sisters Carolyn & Penny aboard one of the many vessels we would have seen during our trip.)
I remember that evening in The Bahamas well. The colours of the sunset and water in the above picture remind me of that day. In fact, the picture (of an Abaco, Bahamas sunset) is remarkably as I remember the scene described. Watch out for stingrays because they can be very dangerous and in the case of Steve Irwin, unfortunately fatal.
Yes, Mila left…
As Tess wrote, Mila left in August while everyone was away, except yours truly. The last night Mila was in the flat, I did not expect the reaction that my being launched into my conscious mind. Woof, what an emotional ride.
I wrote in the days leading up to that moment how I’d been ripping CDs onto our computer as part of a minimalist project Tess and I currently champion in our home. The flat was not exactly clutterless with CDs sprawled all over the place. In addition, the GPA (Government Property Agency) who manages our building, chose the 2nd last day (Thursday) prior to Mila and my last day in Hong Kong (Friday) to replace the kitchen cupboards and countertops in our apartment. (The equivalent of a small reno that they miraculously finished in ten hours!) For us (or more specifically Mila while I dashed round ripping CDs!) this involved emptying the entire kitchen on Wednesday and putting the kitchen back together on Thursday night once the new cupboards and countertops were in place. No small task but remarkably, Mila showed her true colours on those last few days.
I arrived home fairly late on that Thursday night. I was greeted by a small team Mila coordinated, of other lonely amahs whose families had left for the summer, all of whom helped Mila put the kitchen back together. A lot of familiar faces appeared before me… faces that used to subtley appear when the triplets were at their most fragile, and the rest of us exhausted, to help care for these new babies. It never ceases to amaze me how committed the Filipino Community is to our family. So that was the first trigger – familiar faces from days long gone by.
I asked the group if they’d had dinner. Negative (by then it was about 9 pm) so I ordered a ton of pizza, then sat down at the computer to write Mila’s reference letter. And that’s when the bus hit me.
Swelling up from inside came the memories of the previous 2.5 years as I looked back at all the things we’d accomplished during Mila’s watch. Mila’s big dream was to care for all the babies all by herself. On a few occasions we actually gave her the chance to do exactly that, too. Always over protective, Mila was remarkably committed to our family. A devout Christian, we’d often return home late at night to find Mila reading her Bible in the playroom while the kids slept across the hall. No doubt her prayers contributed to the triplets’ constant, positive progress. (Left: Mila & Carys at Sebastian’s 3rd birthday party, November 2004.)
As I sat at the computer writing her reference letter it occured to me that Mila’s departure was not only symbolic of her moving on, it was symbolic of our family growing up. Her I was trying to de-clutter our flat – selling stuff online, getting rid of old CDs… I couldn’t even begin to describe the buffet of images and emotions – probably long suppressed – flashing across the movie screen of my mind, but I assure you, I wasn’t expecting any of them. That night was very, very hard and healing, too, as I let go of yet another piece of "No Joy" to let the sun shine in. (Left: Mila & Sela after an evening bottle, July 2004.)
The next day my very good friend and colleague, Paul, drove me to the Airport Express downtown check-in as I embarked on my way to Canada. This is the same person who came to visit me 2.5 years earlier the first week the triplets were in the hospital after being born. Tess was still in the hospital, too. That night, long ago now, I painted a grim Mr. Reality picture of where the trips stood medically.
Paul looked at me and said, "Charles, today, you are the father of four kids. I understand about tomorrow, but today is today and don’t forget that today, you are the father of four kids."
"Yes, but…" I replied.
Paul cut me off with, "I understand about tomorrow, but today is today and don’t forget that today, you are the father of four great kids."
That was 2004, and 2.5 years later as we drove to the Airport Express I described the emotions I felt on the eve of Mila’s departure. I said to him, "it was more than just a helper leaving, it was like knowing that the triplets are going to be okay."
Paul cut me off, "Charles, the triplets ARE okay."
"Yes, but…" I replied.
Paul cut me off again (like he always does! ha!), "CHARLES, the triplets ARE okay."
"Yuh, y’know I’m just gonna hop out of the car right here because I really sense a degree of abuse in the car," I exclaimed cheekily.
"You do that," Paul chided back, "and have fun on your holiday with your wife and four kids who are doing JUST FINE."
Earlier that morning when Mila left she’d been up the entire night packing after finally finishing the kitchen and other chores by about 11 pm. (I had to practically tie her up to force her to eat the pizza!) None of these extra chores were really necessary – most amahs probably would have called it a night – but Mila finished everything to the end.
Before driving her to the Airport Express I gave Mila a card and a handful of pictures inside the silk photo sachet presented to me by the Beijing Grand Hyatt a week earlier. The card read, "Mila – May the Lord watch over you and care for you always. Thank you for touching our lives, for being so tender, loving and dedicated to our family. We love you and will remember you always. In Christ, Charles."
(Left: Mila & Carys at gymnastics, May 2006.) We awkwardly stood opposite each other in our living room, when Mila tried to say in her somewhat broken English, "Sir, what I am feeling inside my heart right now I cannot describe." For perhaps different reasons I knew exactly what she meant and assured Mila that she would be okay. A few hours later Mila sent me the sweetest text message from the airport just prior to her flight leaving. Sitting at her gate she thanked me for the pictures and card and described how she could not stop from crying. I was in the office at the time, about to leave for the Airport Express myself. I hit the reply button and SMS’d back to her, "My pleasure, Mila, God be with you."
We’re back & we’re tired
Well folks, we are finally back in Hong Kong… arrived last night after the 12.5 hour flight from Vancouver. Kids were generally okay on the plane. We had a total of 14 pieces of checked luggage and seven or nine carry-ons (roughly, can’t really remember anymore) including car seats for the triplets. Had a few snags getting everything home but eventually we all settled in. We ran the kids at full speed as much as possible until we put them to bed at 12:30 AM. Believe it or not, that bedtime was their first in "big beds" with Sebastian on the top bunk of new bunk beds for the first time! Stand by Tess’ or this blog to hear more about that exercise. Triplets were irritable during the night, waking and eventually getting coaxed back to sleep every hour or so. We finally had to get them out of bed at 6 AM. When I left for work at 7:45 AM, Sebastian was still sound asleep. (Tess & I at left prior to a class reunion… more details in a future blog to follow.)
We arrive into Hong Kong with mixed feelings about what the future holds. Jasper’s breathing was immediately a problem. By the time breakfast was over this morning he was wheezing quite badly and needed ventolin therapy. We will give JJ a few days to rest and settle before assessing the situation. In addition, each summer I always return from Fintry with some sort of "resolve" for the year ahead. Call it a form of a New Year’s resolution. Well, none this year came to be. While the holiday was great, it was also not so great. Work encroached more than ever before. (For example, last Friday morning I was up at 5:45 AM preparing for two, one-hour conference calls that finally finished at about 10:10 AM). There were also logistical activities made things a lot more tiring than usual. Getting the gang from Okanagan to Vancouver and then Hong Kong was quite an operation and effort. (But WOW – are DVD players in cars ever a good idea!) Therefore, it was hard to disengage, to let go and give the resolve a chance to emerge. Close friends will ask, "Did Chuck get his groove back?" Answer: no… but we did do a time capsule and contained within mine are two committments. Watch this space for more details because to be truthful, I wonder if maybe God is intentionally holding back any resolve to test me. (At left… Anne Fox, Sebastian and I make the annual jump from the Fintry Lighthouse… see the glee on Seb’s face?)
But don’t get all gloomy by the above… we have loads of fantastic pictures, lots and lots of fun stories, (some of which may go down in family history), and all sorts of interesting tidbits to be shared (will tell you all about the time capsule but not the contents!) in the coming days and weeks. For now it is full speed ahead but I have to ask… did we ever slow down? (Left: Lake Okanagan as seen from Fintry at dawn.)
How about you… have you got your groove back… did you ever lose it?
Many happy Shepherd Moons
Today I turned 44. Whooosh… where did it go? Warning, this is a Poignant Young Man post, but as I approach my half century mark in six years, it doesn’t feel PYM. Never mind that 40 is the new 30, (which makes me about 35 in ‘new’ years?) and 60 is the new 40, I still feel like this will be a PMAM post or at times even POM. Here we all are in the cycle of life. (Pictured at left, the delicious birthday cake presented by the APAC HR Team in Hong Kong after my return from Beijing.)
With Tantalising Tess and the family back in Canada, what better place to spend my birthday than in Beijing, China. While I thought the day would be a quiet one, my colleagues and HR team surprised me.
First, on Wednesday night a US colleague and I had a drink (and me a cigar) as we waited for a late night global HR call to commence at 11 pm. Sitting there I knew, that while Charles’ wiring would have him hide his birthday, that would be unfair to those around me. Something about being willing to let acknowledgement in! So, after a few minutes I said to my colleague, "You know, I need to confess something to you because if I don’t and you find out afterwards, you’ll probably be disappointed with me." She asked "What’s that?" to which I replied, "Tomorrow’s my birthday!"
"Well funny you should mention that…" she laughed and promptly pulled out a hilarious birthday card and Borders gift certificate. How cool is that? She was more prepared than I! So there we sat in the Grand Hyatt lobby, talking about how much China had changed in the last ten years, the discussion shadowing how we’ve all changed in the last ten years. And speaking of ten, upon arriving to my room the hotel presented me with a leather picture holder, contained within a silk sachel, in honour of my tenth stay in the hotel. Wow… that was unexpected and delightful. (As an example of how modern China has become, especially in the major cities, take a look at the pictures below. On the left is a pic of a "metal canopy" between two buildings. The other pic is of two girls playing next to the water immediately beneath the "canopy." Click to enlarge the photos.)
Second, the China Sales VP bought me a beautiful, royal blue Chinese linen shirt presented to me at a dinner together. Third, today the China HR team took my US colleague and I out to lunch (left), presented we with a very unique and rare piece of China art and a birthday cake, too!
Fourth, Jet Airways (a terrific and growing airline in India) remembered my birthday. Sure, it was a computer custom-generated, automated e-mail, but neither United nor Air Canada remembered and they have my e-mail, too!
Fifth, Cathay also greeted me with a birthday message as I logged into their site to check the timeliness of my departure flight to HK. But folks, that was nothing compared to what happened at the airport. Approaching the check-in counter a CX employee greeted me by asking, "Hello, flying to HK… economy or business class?"
"Economy," I replied but then cheekily continued with, "but it’s my birthday so I want an upgrade!" They giggled.
I proceeded to check-in. The attendant kept looking at the screen and in Chinese asked his colleagues how to do something on the screen. I had no idea what was going on but suddenly a CX attendant appeared at my side, wished me a happy birthday and presented me with a beautiful silk pouch about the size of an evening purse. I thanked her profusely and inside my head thought, "Okay no upgrade but the purse is very sweet!"
The attendant checking me in continued to fumble a bit and then BINGO… next thing I knew a Business Class boarding card sat in front of me. I thanked him and went on my merry way. If one has to travel around your birthday, make it ON your birthday to angle for the upgrade. Now the thing is… the plane is practically empty. Therefore, they really did give me a birthday upgrade, not one because economy was overbooked.
And so here I sit in Business Class reflecting on my birthday, life in general, leaving for Canada next week to join the team, which will definitely be a reflective and introspective time because Fintry always is. And then there are all the things to do between now and then, including flying to India to take care of some HR items and a hundred things around the flat.
The main project Tess and I have tasked to yours truly is the CDs. We have probably 400 CDs that take up a lot of space in the flat. (We’re going through a big minimalist phase right now!) We rarely listen to these CDs. Doesn’t figure that prominently in our daily lives. In an effort to fully launch ourselves into the digital entertainment age we decided to get rid of our CDs. Using I-tunes we’re burning (I really mean importing) all the CDs onto our main computer and then we’ll sell the CDs. Imagine that… no CDs… I distinctly remember the shift from vinyl to CDs and now the CDs’ extinction is imminent.
Last weekend, after really getting myself organized, I hit a rate of burning 12 CDs per hour and completed 125 by Sunday night. I even scanned (or found on the Internet) the album artwork. Turning the corner into the work week I continued to import CDs at every opportunity.
Let’s take a moment to really grasp this project. I don’t listen to the CDs when burning (well some I do) but I am acutely aware of the songs floating past me. Songs I haven’t heard for years. We have lots of CDs that we come across dirt cheap during our travels… old Elton John, Billboard compilations from the 70s, the list is endless of creative, old and long lost collections found in Asia’s dusty corners.
Charles’ PMAM wiring would have him complete this project at a snail’s pace… stopping to listen and savour each CD and song, reflecting on where and when I first heard a particular tune. A while ago I wrote about how we measure time outside of minutes, hours, days or years and music definitely ranks up there as a time marker. It would be easy to procrastinate on this project but oh no… no no no no no no no… I am doing this project Tess style – get it done!
That’s why I brought about 50 CDs to Beijing. Every spare moment I had in my hotel room I burned a CD into I-tunes. I was like a machine… then a light appeared at the end of the tunnel but the light was a freight train with a PYM payload.
This morning, as I rushed about packing, answering e-mails, taking phone calls, I continued The CD Project. At one point Moodswings sat waiting for import. I slipped the CD into the travelling docking station. Without even thinking I watched the song names download from the Gracenotes database, then clicked the Import button. For some strange reason Moodswings didn’t play. It was something else. At first I was frustrated. We have about twenty-five CDs missing from their cases and during the course of this project I have found lots of CDs in the wrong CD cases, too. I thought, "Drat, another wrong CD."
My mind fleetingly registered the moment but not as music, instead as a moment in time, as The Cycle of Life. Then the recollection vanished. "What was that?" I thought. I quickly settled in front of my laptop to read the CD. Not Moodswings. I picked-up the CD case… NOT Moodswings. "Wow," I thought, "talk about a bird in ‘the the’ hand, I didn’t even know what I was importing."
But that wasn’t enough as my mind struggled to pull from the past. "What are you trying to tell me," I asked, "why have you stopped me here, at this CD, at this moment?"
Slowly the fog cleared. My parent’s house came into view, in fact the living room where my father had a fancy new stereo. The year was 1990. (The year I came to Asia for the first time.) I remember playing this CD in that stereo on a sunny afternoon. I remember admiring how shiney and smooth it’s surface. I remember making a tape for the car.
I sat there in Beijing, my conscious mind frantically scanning for answers… "Why this CD, why now?" Then I figured it out. Somehow, for some reason, I’d been stopped at the first CD I’d ever bought. At the CD where I migrated from vinyl to CD. Here I sat thousands of miles away in Beijing on my birthday, and years away from that moment in Toronto, importing CDs as Tess & I transitioned out of one technology and into another… only to hold in my mind the first CD I bought. "Should I keep it?" I asked myself.
I stared at the CD in disbelief as all the years between now and then washed through my memory. "Full circle," I thought, "the Cycle of Life. Forty-four today, my friend. Happy Birthday and many, many more shepherd moons."
The artist was Enya. The CD was Shepherd Moon. What was your first CD?
