It's more than official, family weighed in and our kids are TOO loud. The other day Sebastian accidentally stapled his finger while working on a "project." The staple was long enough it probably went through and pierced the underside of his thumb nail… the underside, i.e. right through the bottom of his thumb, through the flesh into his thumbnail bed. He went ballistic with pain. Amidst all the drama the triplets made plenty of noise. Said family member (on the phone) commented that someday we'd realise how loud are our kids. This shocked me because Tess and I have been trying FOREVER to quieten them down.
We know our kids are loud… on hikes you can hear them from very far away. On the playground we can hear them from our flat on the 4th floor. In the morning when they get up they often make a huge amount of noise, waking up their siblings. (Although they are getting better at this.)
Last weekend they were so loud that, despite repeated requests to be quiet, Tess had to separate the triplets. Carys was assigned to the living room, Jasper his room and Sela her room. I was out at the doctor with Sebastian. Tess texted me with what she'd had to do. Tess had a shower and while Carys fell asleep on the sofa, Sela snuck across the hall into the boys' room to see Jasper. Well, she soon forgot that she was on a secret mission. Sela was busted when, with her and Jasper operating at 100+ decibels, I walked in. We know our kids are loud and we have tried endless ways to quieten them down.
FOR EXAMPLE:
We have explained to them over and over and over that there are inside voices (quiet), resort voices (louder but not loud enough to bother other people) and outside voices (full on volume!) We have explained this to them over and over and over.
We have tried discipline such as revoking privileges when the kids are too loud.
We have tried discipline such as putting toys in The Thinking Box when the kids are too loud.
We have tried time-outs when the kids are too loud.
We have tried warnings before discipline. We have tried zero-tolerance and gone straight discipline.
We have tried rewards, praise, encouragement. We have tried responding to appropriate voices and when talked to in loud voices not responding, or explaining that we'll respond to a request when we hear it in an appropriate voice. We have tried only talking to them in soft voices so they know what a quiet, normal inside voice sounds like. We've asked them to repeat things to us in a quieter voice upon which we listen attentively followed up with praise. Did I mention we have tried rewards, praise, encouragement
We've had conversations with them about being too loud and asked them why they think they're so loud.
We have analysed if they are loud because they crave attention or feel they are competing with each other. We've asked ourselves, does insisting they're quiet stifle creativity? We've analysed the situation until we're blue in the face. We've analysed our own childhoods: Tess was a model child who rescued small animals and made no noise – even when she broke her arm while roller-skating. I was SILENT, a peculiar thing that my family could never figure out.
Yes, we know our kids are loud. I'm discouraged and I'm embarrassed and I'm open to suggestions. Meanwhile, pictured below are Sebastian and Sela, recently doing homework in the morning before breakfast.
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11 Replies to “Our kids are TOO loud!”
we are a loud family too…but we also don’t live in an apartment building…BUT..it comes with the territory. No need to be embarrassed… kids being loud is part of being a kid… They have to retain self control all day at school…they have to be quiet and respectful most of the day…home, the park, on walks etc it’s their time to let loose and be loud. The bigger question is: are your kids respectful and quiet when the situation calls for it..i.e sitting in church, at school, etc… if they are…carry on. Yes, it is important for kid to learn the distinctions of what kind of voices are appropriate when… a house/flat with four kids will be loud…esp four creative, active, and fun kids like you have!!! Love you guys..xo lyns
And I feel more than gross that it was I who laughingly said they are noisy. It has created unhappiness for you both and I am sorry – it was a statement and was not meant to bring angst onto two of the best parents I know. Sorry! 🙁
It is difficult for youngsters to be quiet when they are curious,inquizitive,healthy and have a love for life.
Yes they are noisy at times but balance that with all their energy and desire to explore what limits exist.I think you 2 are doing a great job of raising four of our granchildren and so does Mo. Silence is golden at times but too often it is rooted in fear not manners. Love to all..GDad Blake
Hey Charles. Don’t worry about it. They are just kids, and have not mastered the art of self control yet. I grew up in a large family and had to fight for attention as well so it is probably just a phase they are going through. Not to worry, you guys are doing an awesome job raising four wonderful children. Love always Unkle Bobb
oh my kids are beyond noisy – and there’s just 2 of them.
Having a trampoline in the back yard helps them get rid of some of that surplus energy. I reckon it’s just that they have to spend so much time (relatively to other kids their age in the world) inside.
I always tell mine that if they were in the sound of music they’d be gonners!
Children are just loud – I’d be more worried if they didn’t make noise. But they grow out of it. And how can you repress all that joyful enthusiasm? BTW, have you noticed that three of your kids are the same (noisy) age? Three times the noise, unfortunately!
The good thing is that you are aware of it, so you can take them out of a situation if you see the noise affecting people around them.
xoxo
I agree with GDad Blake: silence can be rooted in fear, not manners. I sometimes walk into the gym when a kids’ class is about to start and simply cannot believe how such small children can be so loud. They just are! And they are happy and this is good. Now I don’t even mind loud kids on a plane. (Bose headset plus earplugs do the trick.) How joyful that you have such a vibrant family!
I think that your children are loud because there are a number of them. The more children you get together in a room the louder they get!
I know that now we have two the noise level has gone up considerably so I can only imagine what it is like with 4!!!
No advice from here – just empathy.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Thanks for taking the time to post such a detailed and informative article. It has given me a lot of inspiration and I look forward to more like this in the future.