One of the things I often do before going on business trips is mail Tess a magazine. I have been doing this for years. The goal is for a representation of me to arrive in the mail a few days following my departure. The gesture is a small way of saying, “I love you and I am still here” despite not actually physically being around. Since starting this practice, I have taken license to deface the magazines I send. We call them “getting Vinced.” Vince is the younger brother of a small cartoon character I invented in high school called “Buppy.” I saved all my Buppy drawings and someday might make a hilarious blog.

Back to the mags – I take a permanent magic marker, drawing funny faces on The Gorgeous People no doubt airbrushed into the magazine. I unairbrush them in a fun way. After a while Tess objected to the vandalism. Turns out she was getting confused. On the cover beneath the markings she was sure it was Hilary Swank marrying Brad Pitt, only to learn later it was Angelina Jolie. Sorry, Tess. The vandalism ceased, unless I thought of something really, really clever that I knew would provoke an uncontrolled, spontaneous outburst of laughter from Tantalising Tess. A few months ago such an opportunity arose with the accompanying cover. Some couple in the US who’d had dozens of kids was ready for more. I took an old picture of Tess and I from when Sebastian was first born, glued it to the front cover. Tess was only mildly amused. Perhaps the cover got under the skin a bit. To be honest, even as I was tapping into my Andy Warhol creativity with the magazine I too felt a small bite… Tess and I still have a six pack on ice. Someday, in the not too distant future, we have to deal with both the practical and spiritual implications of that frozen in time life. Any suggestions?

Nevertheless, there is a funny ending to this story. A few weeks later the magazine fell into the hands of one of our helpers: Gary. Gary thought the cover story was real and nearly had a heart attack when he discovered we were having more children. The lovely and talented Tess has a very clear position on this topic: closed for business. Who could blame Tess? On the other hand, Tess is a Super Mom and could easily double the trouble and none of this explains her re-occuring dream… ask her about it!