Keep smiling

Alison Jane Truelove
Jan 27, 1964 – Mar 19, 2006

I am currently on my way to the US from Hong Kong for a five day business trip at WW HQ in Silicon Valley. My back has settled a little and thanks to some prayers and my Diamond status on CX I’ve been upgraded all the way to First Class. Not bad – First Class on the world’s #1 airline! Of course, for those of you who follow this blog you’ll know that means I have settled into the luxurious atmosphere of introspection and retrospection. Yes, the lights are dim, the red wine poured, the best songs selected to my personal play list. I can see Tess rolling her eyes now that a PMAM post is on its way. I’m in seat 1A, the very first on the plane. Only the gentleman opposite me will notice me getting misty eyed. Once again I find myself writing a tribute while sitting in CX First Class. I’d be a liar if I denied weeping on this flight, too.

On March 19th a friend of mine in Toronto, Canada, Alison, passed away. Woof. Hard to know exactly where to go from that statement. The news of Alison arrived by e-mail early last week from David Brightling, lifelong Toronto friend who now lives in Hong Kong.

I first met Alison about twenty years ago in Toronto at a New Year’s Eve party. Post midnight most people had left when a small group of us, including Alison, sat around stoking the fire, listening to music and I think I embarrassed myself for a while playing the piano. I recall thinking that Alison was a rare breed. Little did I know just how rare.

A few weeks later I received a call from Alison. She and some friends were starting up a Toronto Rotaract Club. (For those who have never heard of Rotaract, essentially it is a young person’s  Rotary International.) "Was I interested?" she asked. I liked the idea of Rotary since my late grandfather, William Salem Caldwell, was an avid Rotarian and spoke highly of the community service organization. And thus Alison became the person who introduced me to Rotaract/Rotary along with a whole world of friends.

For the next few years a bunch of us met once/week for Rotaract fellowship, the planning of community service projects and "more fun than humanly possible" as Alison and her good friend Ellen used to say.

Then two really big things happened. First, a Rotarian named Paul Truelove nominated me for RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Award.) This was a week long young professional development program. I went with some guy I hardly knew named James Christie. Yuh – he and I turned out to be best friends who still keep in touch and reportedly, our family histories have a freak intermingling about 125 years ago.

RYLA was a fantastic opportunity and I kid you not – I use those skills today. For example, RYLA introduced me to HSI case studies that we use today at Juniper Networks. We also used HSI and STG in 2005 to conduct a major in-house corporate culture study that paid off in spades. Had RYLA not had its impact, I would not be such a fan of HSI case studies. (I’ve even gone on to write five custom, forced-ranking case studies during my career.) So RYLA was a big deal.

Second, Paul Truelove nominated me for a Rotary Group Study Exchange. In a nutshell, this is when a Rotary District on one side of the world sends four young professionals and two Rotarians to the other side of the world to another Rotary District. Then, about six months later, the distant Rotary District sends it a team of six to the first district. I was sent to South East Asia (Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand) and six months later a South East Asia team came to visit us in Toronto. Well readers, I currently live and work in Hong Kong so you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the impact of that trip! The chain of events of me having a career in Asia started with meeting Alison.  Paul and Alison married a few years ago, too, which seems ironic in hindsight considering the impact both these people had on my life.

My top three memories of Alison?

There were too many to recall but the first story I’ll share happened one night when the Asian GSE team had come to Toronto. Karaoke is big in Asia, so we took them, along with a crowd of Rotarians and Rotaractors to a Karaoke bar in downtown Toronto. At one point one of our party was on stage crooning out Elvis Presley’s "Can’t Help Falling In Love With You" when Alison, Ellen and another girl threw themselves at stage front, screaming hysterically and pawed the singer. The gimmick caught everyone off guard and brought down the house!

Second, Alison loved to laugh. I mean seriously folks, Alison loved a good laugh and I’ll always remember her for that. But more importantly, Alison made other people laugh, especially those less fortunate. Alison was unafraid of doing whatever it took to help the less fortunate laugh, too. I recall one Easter Seals Christmas Party at the Royal York Hotel where our Rotaract Club was out in full strength. To put this party in perspective, probably 50% of the children at this party were wheel chair confined… special needs and challenged in ways that society does not regularly remind us. For some people this party can be hard. As the designated photographer I was wondering around snapping pics of smiling kids, whose worlds had come alive from magical clowns or party tricks, balloons, Santa Claus or just being around people who were very alive and friendly. I was in search of the cutest picture possible.

At one point Alison came up to talk to me. After exchanging a few casual comments about who was where doing what, I confessed to her, "You know what, Alison? I’m letting the camera come between me and these kids."

"Yeah?" said Alison quizzically, tilting her head at me as if to say, "Tell me something I don’t know."

"Come on, you’re out of film anyway!" Alison exclaimed, grabbing my hand to lead me into the chaos. The next 90 minutes of my life I was face-to-face with humanity. Few words could possibly describe the memories of that afternoon other than "more touching than humanly possible."

Third, Alison was an incredibly graceful person who went out of her way to cherish and appreciate friends. Alison had considerable integrity and an amazing ability to delicately express her opinion of which on one specific occasion, I was the recipient. Something had happened in my personal life and Alison, without passing judgment on my actions, artfully expressed her disapproving opinion of the impact of my actions. At that point in my life I would have turned and run. (I was using a very young & immature operating system that constantly crashed, causing Charles to hibernate without warning.) But I didn’t flee – testimony to Alison’s specific choice of words that left me informed but still an empowered friend. That conversation was an important one that has stayed with me my entire life.

Of course all this was years ago and it’s difficult for me to personally describe what Alison was like in recent times or just days before she slipped from our world. But from what I have read and heard about Alison, I am confident she was an even bigger, more wise and generous human being than when I knew her… if that’s even possible. All one has to do is read a snippet of Alison’s obituary to appreciate the hugeness of her being:

Alison was a dedicated member of the Rotary Club of Toronto, a Paul Harris Fellow, William Peace Award winner; a long-time supporter of Easter Seals and winner of the Yvonne Alexander Award for Volunteerism. Founder and co-chair of the Truelove/Dell Scholarship Fund, Director Emeritus of Peace by Peace. Member of the T.T.C. ACAT committee and many other charitable projects. Alison’s tireless efforts have helped countless people.

I left Toronto in 1992 and Canada in 1996. Unfortunately, I left behind many friends and as the years went by we lost touch. That included Alison, which makes me even sadder now, until recently when we were indirectly in touch through Paul Truelove. This past weekend as Tess and I talked about Alison I started down the tunnel of "should have kept in touch more" until Tess gave me The Look and I said, "I know, I know. No regrets."

Alison was a selfless person… who dedicated her life to serving others. Her clever wit was always at the ready and her commitment to life, charitable spirit and making a difference for others dramatically impacted the extended world all around her. Her passing leaves a large void in the world and begs the question, “What can I do? How can I make a difference” One of numerous things Alison’s life teaches us, is one individual’s expanded capacity to impact the world. Now, I am sure, Alison serves a greater charity in the sky.

Keep smiling, Alison, we miss you more than humanly possible.

Online condolences, and donations may be made at www.earlyfuneralhome.com.