small world christmas plays
Tess wrote about Jasper in his class play. No doubt he was the most handsome in his class with his blue eyes matching blue sheppard’s outfit. Below are some pictures from this week’s Small World Christian Kindergarten plays for Jasper’s class and Sela and Carys’ class.
Above left: JJ during his play reciting his lines. After the play each child gave their parents a gift. Above right: JJ receives the gift from his teacher. At left JJ posing alobe with his sheep and next JJ poses with his SWCK crushes, Asha and Shae. Below are the girls in their Christmas play…
Sebastian’s Birthday Party
Tess wrote about Sebastian’s birthday party held at the Aberdeen Boat Club Middle Island on November 17 and now I am posting some pictures from the party. The first set shows some of the kids wrapped up like zombies in toilet paper. That party trick was quite a success. From left: Carys, Jasper, Olivia (friend of Seb’s) and Tess with the birthday boy.
The kids also played "balloon stomp" that was much more successful and fun than I expected. Remarkably there were no tears accompanying that game! We taped a balloon to the foot of each little guest. Since it was Sebastian’s birthday he got a balloon on each foot. Picutred here are Sebastian, Adam and Ian as the last ones stomping. The second photo shows the kids admiring Sebastian’s cake. Superman had a bad case of "the melts" that day… we told the kids, "this is what happens when Superman is exposed to kryptonite." However, the adults had a high politically incorrect interpretation of their own… can you guess what it was?
Finally the party was over and everyone headed back to Hong Kong Island on the ABC ferry. The last two pictures… Jasper kicking back while I assemble some of the party bag toys. The Superman cake first thing in the morning pre-kryptonite. I think the party was a success and fun was had by all. We certainly had a gorgeous day with plenty of sunshine. Finally, below is a terrific picture of the kids from a birthday party they attended in our building last June…
The Miniature Earth
Sebastian “hi-YA!”
Today Tess and I met with Sebastian’s teacher to review his progress. Overall I would say that the visit went well. We heard where he was doing well and where he needed to improve. The improvement areas were not surprises, in fact less of an issue than we thought. Afterwards we went down to where Sebastian had his karate lesson. This is always a challenge as the class is large and with all of Sebastian’s friends, easy for him to be distracted. He was s little distracted this week, but we did have quite a special moment when the instructor taught the kids to karate chop think wooden boards. I think that the picture speaks for itself – Sebastian successfully karate chopped the board in half on first try as his proud parents watched. The camera caught the chop just at the right moment.
Staying with the Sebastian category – every Sunday he has been taking rugby lessons. This is a sport that, as my friend Paul says, contains an excess of testosterone and aggression. Wow, did I ever get to see that this past Sunday. Instead of regular practices at the nearby Stanley Ho facilities in Sandy Bay, Pokfulam, we made the trek to Kowloon (along with Adam and Adam’s dad, Chad) for a Hong Kong-wide, little kids rugby tournament. Early in the morning as I stood in line for a coffee, two five year olds tried to pull down the tent that covered the beverage stand. An hour later Seb and I walked along the side of one of the pitches while waiting to be assigned to a team. Sebastian drifted too close to the sideline just as a swarm of kids – already playing in another game – chased the ball on the other side of the line. Seb stepped the wrong way, thereby accidentally and unexpectedly experiencing a full on National Hockey League body-check from the players. “Hey,” I thought, “we’re here to play rugby, not hockey!” Sebastian was very upset, taking a good 30 – 40 minutes to calm down from the collision. However, he pulled himself together enough to play 2.5 games (he subbed for one of the games.) Overall he did okay – ran with the pack, chased the ball or anybody who had the ball. All combined, when you’re almost six years old that in itself makes for good defense. Everyone in the tourney, regardless of how well their team did, received a medal: effort rewarded. Afterwards the four of us dined at McDonald’s then returned to Pokfulam for further playing and a birthday party in the playground. FYI… last week I was in India, this week in Hong Kong, next week back in India, following week in Shanghai and then get to make a trip to the US. Somewhere in there my father visits us.
God’s Grace & Oasis Airlines
This post is long overdue because I owe Steve Miller, CEO of Oasis Airlines, a huge thank you. It all started early August at Fintry, a few days before we began our trip back to Hong Kong. With a total of eight people, including four toddlers, this is a major undertaking. In the days leading up to our departure all the trappings of our vacation slowly migrate to one room, where they are packed into suitcases. Then there is the planning for how everyone will get to Vancouver… most major car rental companies don’t rent eight seat vehicles large enough for all eight people plus luggage, especially one way. One way rentals are extremely expensive, too. This past summer we decided that Tess and I would drive (with a one way rental) the four kids to Vancouver, and fly Lita & De to Vancouver via WestJet. This would give Lita & De a break from the kids before we all loaded onto Oasis Airlines back to Hong Kong. (Above: Lake Okanagan as seen from Fintry on our last night there… sniff.)
Oasis is a new “no frills” airline sprouting up from Hong Kong. Everything the airline does is oriented around fast, efficient and low cost. To reserve seats when you book your tickets costs extra, but you can login to reserve your seats starting from 72 hours before a flight’s departure. This is exactly what Tess and I did. One evening, during the gradual trappings migration, Tess and I made the twenty minute drive to Lake Okanagan Resort. Piggybacking off the resort’s wireless we made an Internet connection. Frugal Blake and I had done this enough times that I knew exactly where to find the best connection. With eight passengers – and me arriving separately after the rest of the family – our Oasis tickets were held under three bookings. The trick was to quickly login, reserve a seat where we saw a block of eight (rows 42 & 43), logout, login with the next booking and go after the remaining seats in the block of eight. We completed this successfully and all-in-all was relatively simple. (Above: Oasis Airlines crew pose with Sebastian and The Terrific Trio.)
Satisfied and relieved that we were all sitting together in economy, Tess and I drove back to Fintry. On the way Tess said, “We need to talk about food plans. I guess we’ll just take a load of peanut butter sandwiches?” Tess was actually trying to point out that while reserving the seats online, I had neglected to click the “Child Meal” button for the kids. Argh! While there is limited connectivity at Fintry, my Blackberry still works intermittently. I quickly fired an e-mail off to Steve Miller, who attends our church, asking him if he could forward my request for child meals to the appropriate person. Steve wrote back, “Don’t worry, Charles, we’ll make sure the kids have some good grub.” I gave Tess the update and we were happy – but still took peanut butter sandwiches.
The countdown clock continued until it was time to leave. The kids had been quite good that morning, eating breakfast, running around to get some exercise, helping us pack items into the car and doing last minute wee wees. Team Caldwell left Fintry by 8 AM at the exact time of expected departure. Yeah! (Later Blake and Maureen drove Lita & De to the airport for their WestJet flight.) Another round of luck: there was no traffic in front of us on the 45-minute winding road from Fintry to Westbank so we sailed through the morning air at a nice clip. Sebastian had the whole thing worked out: Mom and Dad were the pilots up front – he and Jasper were in Business Class in the middle – Sela and Carys were in Economy class in the back. Everyone was happy and we had a great start to our journey.
Except for the people in Economy Class. About ten minutes from the end of the winding road Sela made a sound. Then we heard Sebastian announce in a loud and concerned voice, “Sela threw-up!” That was just the precursor. As I tried to find a safe place to pull over Sela really threw-up a second time – all over herself, her car seat, the seat in front of her and even past that onto Jasper’s car seat nestled into that seat. Troubled by this sudden development and the notion that her sister was unwell, Carys erupted into tears. We spent about fifteen minutes cleaning up but the smell was outrageous… and we had 4 – 5 hours of driving ahead of us. When we were finally back underway I flipped a few buttons at my armrest that automatically pushed the rear windows of our minivan out like trim tabs. (Very cool!) Fortunately this helped with the smell but we still made a mad dash for the Vancouver airport. Every decision – where to stop for wee wees, coffees, gas, the works – was based on “get rid of this car as fast as possible.”
Once in Vancouver we unluckily hunted for a coin operated car wash where we could vacuum up the remaining elements and moisture. Discouraged and eventually giving up, we found a park where the kids were able to run around and eat some lunch. Tess and I took turns cleaning here and there. Needless to sat, it had been a stressful morning. We drove to the airport where we found Lita & De promptly waiting at the car rental drop-off. By the time we left the car at Budget it smelled more like a package of baby wipes than vomit. At this point the kids were getting stir-crazy and Tess & I were stretched pretty thin. We made our way to Oasis to check-in (a good two+ hours early, by the way.) Tess & Lita changed the kids into the airplane clothes (a good time waster and distraction) while De and I handled the checked bags. We planned on taking three car seats on board for the trips and at one point the mild smell of residual vomit wafted past my nose. “Oh that will be popular on this flight,” I thought to myself. Tess beckoned to me, “Check to see if the seats across the aisle from our seats, next to the seats we have reserved, second in from the aisle, are empty.” I knew what she meant: we had six seats together and two in the same rows across the aisle.
“Grrr,” I thought, “are you kidding me? This is a flight heading to Hong Kong right before school starts. This plane will be FULL!” But, trying to be a loving and supportive husband to my wife I asked anyway. The agent didn’t understand me, then turned the screen towards me, “you are in rows 19 and 20.” I immediately assumed something went wrong when we checked-in online 72 hours earlier.
“That’s not right! We’re supposed to be all together in rows 42 and 43. There are eight of us, all traveling together with FOUR children.”
“Yes sir, I understand that. You are all together in the first two rows of the plane.”
“Huuuh… ah huh,” I bleated out like Jim Carey or Steve Martin might sheepishly do in a silly comedy. “In that case, we’ll be checking these other three car seats, please, and thank you very much… and we’ll just… no problem you just keep doing what your doing and I’ll wait here nicely.” (Above from left: Carys enjoys the good grub, Sela takes in a movie and Jasper thinks he is in heaven with a comfy seat, fascinating subject matter and PB sandwich!)
“God’s grace,” I thought to myself and nearly cried.
I walked over to Tess to whisper in her ear, “Steve Miller must have upgraded us when I asked him about the kids’ meals.”
“How many of us?” Tess inquired. “All of us,” I said, “In Business Class.”
Oasis Airlines uses refitted planes from Singapore Airlines, which was one of the first airlines to introduce fully reclining seats in First Class. While Oasis doesn’t have First Class, they do have the first class seats in the front of Business Class. (Small print: not all Oasis Business Class seats fully recline! ) About two hours later there we sat. It could not have been a better ending to a crazy, chaotic and tense day. (Above: Sebastian was delighted to discover Superman Returns playing on Oasis and watched the movie three times in a row!)
In 2006 we spent over HK$ 125,000 in flights with Air Canada and WestJet despite booking a special deal with AC months in advance. Admittedly we had more sectors, since we also went to Toronto. This year our total flight costs were less than HK$ 40,000 with Oasis Airlines and WestJet. We’ve now tried economy, business class and business class “fully reclined” on Oasis Airlines. This is a great, great airline that offers tremendous value and very friendly service. Can’t recommend them enough. And Steve, thank you so, so much!
Regular readers probably want to know what went through my mind on that flight… lots, but that’s another blog for another day.
Dark, dark day…
I was hoping to get much more mileage out of The Lark piece below, but alas, other things to write about. I am sitting on the Aberdeen Boat Club playground after swimming for an hour with the kids. I made the decision that I had to remove the kids from our household for the whole day to give G&M a full break in addition to their day off tomorrow. This week we had an episode of amah drama… in a nutshell, the wife (Marianne) of our new husband/wife team, who are replacing Lita & De, wants to leave. She told Tess the job was too stressful and she is having a hard time adjusting to all of it: the kids, the pressure, the busyness and especially the cooking because she is not a cook by nature.
This news landed on Tess as she was about to leave for a weekend Christian mission trip to China. I arrived home last night about 1 AM from my China business trip after Tess left. I had a work issue that kept me up until 3:30 AM. I slept until 8 AM then we left for triplet swimming lessons. Seb dutyfully watched a portable DVD (Veggie Tales) while we swam. This week was Jasper’s turn to swim with dad. Sela melted down at this reminder. She refused to swim with Marianne: cried, whined, screamed. By the time the whole thing was over we’d missed half the lesson.
When we arrived home I sent the kids to the playground with Gary so Marianne and I could talk. Her explanation was amazingly mature and insightful. Most amah dramas shift blame. Her’s didn’t. She told me: (1) "I am insecure when reacting to your children. I really believe they don’t like me." This didn’t surprise me. The kids’ treatment of our helpers is atrocious, with Carys probably the exception. Everything we do fails to get the kids to love & respect them. Lately they’ve been particularly beligerant not only to G&M, but also Tess & me.
(2) "I am not learning how to cook fast enough." I thought things were going okay here but Marianne elaborated…
(3) "Tess needs someone she can rely on and offload things to. I don’t think I am a good enough helper for what Tess needs."
There was no drama… just very specific issues presented in a way where Marianne was seeking responsibility. We talked about it for a while and I assured her not to worry about the situation. I knew she needed space. I packed up stuff for the day: fresh swim suits, books, sweaters in case it got chilly, loaded the kids in the car and we left.
Our first stop was Chi Fu, a local, large residential complex with a small shopping mall good for inexpensive stuff. After going to an ATM for cash we went hunting for books. I bought each one of the kids a drawing/writing book and multi-coloured pen. (The kind that has 6 different coloured pens in the one pen.) We drove to the ABC, sitting ourselves down in a booth for lunch. I wrote the kids’ names on each book and showed them how to use the pens. Intrigued, they wanted to try them right away. "Not yet," I replied, "first we have to have a talk because I have something sad to tell you."
For the next fifteen minutes while we waited for lunch, I talked to the kids about their recent behavior. I had each one of them remember moments of unacceptable behavior. Sebastian was the first to deny his guilt. "Who scratched Gary on Wednesday night? Who wrote on the wall after Gary painted it, making it so beautiful?" I asked. "I did," replied Sebastian.
Next Jasper denied being unkind to G&M. I looked at him, "Jasper, who had two fights with mommy this week? Who hit mommy at dinner? Who told Marianne ‘I don’t like you?’ hnnnnh?" His face sank. He knew he was busted. Then Sela tried her hand at denial, to which she was trumped. Carys emerged relatively unscathed until I asked them about whining and whinging and yelling. They sat there, staring at me, not sure what was next. "Have you been treating G&M nicely?" They all sheepishly admitted their guilt. Then the punchline…
"The sad part about this whole thing, is that Marianne thinks you don’t like her…" I explained as simply and clearly as I could. The triplets struggled with this notion, but Sebastian sat there stone faced. "You know what I am talking about don’t you, Sebastian?" His sad little face nodded. After that I said all the right things I could think of… including how privileged they were to have G&M, to live in Hong Kong, to have so many things done for them. I explained that things were going to change and they would be expected to help out A LOT more. Finally they all agreed in their child-like way that we needed to apologise and ask forgiveness." Sebastian said a little prayer, and remarkably each triplet responded with their own mumbled prayer. Lunch arrived – chinese style fried rice, hold the veggies. I served the rice and said, "THIS… IS… YOUR… LUNCH… if you don’t like it, you WILL be hungry." They wolfed it down.
Following lunch we had a wonderful 30 – 45 minutes of relatively quiet time as they each drew in their new books with their new pens. I thought this time was quite good because it balanced out the mild rebuking with quiet fun. Then it was off to swimming and the playground.
You might be wondering about Carys in all this, who is actually quite well behaved towards the world. At one point when she had to do a wee wee, she and I had a few minutes alone. While she sat on the toilet I kneeled before her at eye-level. I thanked her for treating G&M and Tess nicely. "You’re very good about those things Carys. Can you please help Seb, JJ and Sela be good about those things, too?" She replied with a relieved "yes."
Flash forward: it is now 9 pm and the kids are in bed. In the middle of writing the above, Sebastian and Jasper had an incident of mutual and unjustified aggression. I pulled them into the penalty box for a time-out. They joked about it. Warning 1. They joked about it some more. Warning 2. They kept on joking. Busted… they had just lost the privilege of staying at the ABC for dinner. Unhappiness descended upon them. Had Tess been there I would have come home with the boys and she would have stayed for dinner with the girls. I dwelled on what to do, aware that it was risky to dump two sullen toddlers on G&M then still have dinner with the girls. Finally after ten minutes I gathered all four in a circle. I explained what would have happened had Tess been there. "Instead," I said, "this cost the whole team dinner at the ABC." They all accepted that but weren’t thrilled. (Above: Sebastian & Jasper contemplate being busted during their time-outs while Carys & Sela continue to play.)
At home the kids had dinner. Gary immediately grabbed all our gear to look after it. "Uh, thanks Gary but the kids will clean that up," I said. Sela had a meltdown because she got orange yoghurt instead of purple yoghurt so I put her to bed. The remaining three then helped me unpack our gear. JJ and Carys then went to bed. Lately we’ve been helping Sebastian a lot with practise printing… tonight’s practise involved writing Gary two apology notes. Remarkably Seb wrote them with much more enthusiasm than most of what he has previously written. (Click on the pics to see the enlarged versions.)
This whole thing, and the quite difficult week that lay in my wake, has me re-assessing what exactly Tess and I are doing in Hong Kong with our family. We have friends who have seen their children develop very poorly in relation to the concept of helpers. In one case HK-based parents (Canadian citizens) were back in Canada for Christmas several years ago. Their kids refused to help clean-up after a holiday dinner, while the Canadian in-law kids cleaned up voluntarily. Those parents came back to Hong Kong, immediately handed in notice to their employers and were back in Canada permanently within 30 days. Sometimes I look at my four and wonder if we are on the same path. Who knows… I am so tired right now that I can’t really draw any conclusions. But I have one thing to add… this will probably drive the non-Christians crazy…
I am really clear that God has laid a path before me, with specific accomplishments to achieve. Until I complete those tasks no doors will open and I’ll be frustrated as all get out. But this past week something very, very profound happened to me that has been brewing for a few months, probably as profound or more profound than my original 1982 calling. God said scripturally and very simply offered a one degree course correction, "this way."
"Uh, hello, wait a minute, who is calling?"
"Go this way, Charles, it will help you get the tasks done."
"Okay, wait a minute you can’t just say…"
"This way, Charles, go this way to get it done."
"B-b-but, um… er… uh… huh, huh, huh…"
"This way, Charles."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"That way?"
"That way."
"Now?"
"Now."
