Affirmation
Last June on the last day of Union Church Youth Group, we had all the youth write messages of affirmation to each other. Each sheet had a collection of Youth Group pictures from activities throughout the year. The rules of the exercise: the messages had to be complimentary and anonymous. Kids sat in a circle on the floor and passed the sheets around while we played some upbeat music in the background. At the end of the evening they each received their sheet and were able to take it home. There were a few kids who had already left for the summer holidays. The Youth wrote messages for them, too, which were subsequently mailed to the kids. Recently I found Sebastian's while I was clearing out a drawer. I think I will show it to him as an affirmation. Maybe it will pick up his mood a bit.
This past weekend we registered Sebastian for Camp Kivu, a two-week Christian camp that our friends rave about and will be attending at the same time as Sebastian. There will be a growing contingent from Union Church attending for the last two weeks of July.
Changing Lanes
What Tess wrote is all correct. The events of last term were striking: there was a line of demarcation mid-term when Sebastian's world burst and the dam holding him together gave way. I sometimes wonder "to what degree?" Looking down from way above one would draw the same conclusions as Tess. Metaphorically I would say that Sebastian is changing lanes. Perhaps changing highways might be a better way to describe it. I imagine he is uncertain of the highway ahead. Maybe he sees congestion or a mishap. Maybe he's throttling down, not sure what lays in the glimmer of the sun, spray of the rain beyond, or even the road falling beneath him from the collapsing dam.
Ahead there is an off ramp. He's changing lanes to take that ramp and venture off in a different direction. He'll find himself in unknown territory. Maybe lost for a while. Possibly moving slower. Or he might even go faster. He'll hit potholes, spin out and crash, stop and curse. But in the end, his trust will be without borders. He'll go deeper than his feet could ever wonder. His faith will be made stronger. He's on a road less travelled and I know it won't be easy. Why? First, Sebastian probably doesn't even know he's changing roads and second, I've been on that road.
My close friends in Toronto often joke that I was born in a jacket and tie. My dam burst very young – much younger than Sebastian. At school I was pretty much a nobody. At least it looked that way from my side of the world. That changed a bit in junior high when KP and I hooked up. She had cachet. I rode that wave for about a year. Meanwhile, being skinny made me an easy target until I took Judo lessons and one day knocked out the hallway ceiling tiles after shoulder flipping TP who tried to dump my books. The predators backed away. I'm clear they weren't bullies. The teachers were a bit conflicted on who should get the detention. In the end none were issued.
High school wasn't much better. The school was repeatedly winning football championships and had US students venturing north in hopes they'd pick up American college scholarships through our school. I was a mouse compared to these guys. I'll never forget RF who, after perfectly catching the ball at the opening kick-off of a championship game, ran the entire length of the football field to score a touchdown. The crowd went wild and like the Road Runner we all swore he left flames in his tracks. The sobering truth hit me when I learned his thigh, pure muscle, had a circumference of 28 inches against my 23 inch waist.
The following year, Grade 12, God issued me my own after-burners. I discovered I was fast, and if I trained my mind and body, really fast. Somewhere in there I ran a casually timed 4:04 mile and a mentor tried to point me toward a more competitive arena. I declined and while I still ran lots of running races and did okay, my world was best described by a lifelong friend, David Brightling, who half sarcastically said, "Charles suffered the legacy of the lonely long distance runner."
Through all those years I had few school friends. Either the friendships weren't formed en masse or people pulled away in boredom of me. In the psychological world that made me an introvert. Outside of school I loved boats and sailing. In the sailing world I was more of a somebody. I took that off ramp, striking even further afield after starting my own marine business when I was sixteen. That lasted fourteen years. None of my school friends had any idea. The ensuing years, paralleled by university, forged some good friendships that I still have today. But the shadow of the other half of the equation – the half where friends didn't exist – was always hard to solve for. I was never good at that math and loneliness typically followed the = sign. There were good times and bad times, but isn't that the case with all of us? Any doctor will tell you a flatline is bad. (At left, from left: Tim, Stephen [oldest friend from four years old and claims I was born in a tie], me, Anne, Fred and Tess at a mini reunion in July 2013, Toronto. David Brightling was out of town and unable to attend.)
Sebastian is also not good at this version of math and he is definitely taking a road less travelled. It looks very familiar. I can see the map unfolding. What does Sebastian have going for him?
- Sebastian is fast and if he puts his mind to it, could be very fast.
- Sebastian is creative with a fearless, vivid imagination. No horror story seems to phase him.
- Sebastian loves technology and wants to learn lots about computers, making movies etc.
- Sebastian loves God and is a powerful intercessor.
- Given an enticing book, he is an excellent reader but easily bored.
- Sebastian has a funny sense of humour evolving.
- Sebastian is extraordinarily kind. Sure, we all have our grumpy days (me more often than others) but most of the time Sebastian cares deeply that others are okay and looked after.
What I know matters now is the investment of time to help Sebastian sort and understand his experiences. Chances are Sebastian won't understand the road less travelled and he needs GPS to guide the way. The messages coming in are pretty confusing at the moment and the emotions bubbling up, hard to keep in check. Sebastian doesn't have the armour of resilience. We've identified part of the source, which I'll share more about at another time. For now the map needs to unfold until we see the path we're on.
Sebastian also reads our blogs. Hi Seb, I love you and am really proud of you and all you're becoming. I used an Aston Martin above because if you're on a road not taken, I know you'd want to be in that car!
Overnight Train To Harbin
Wow, I thought sitting on a long haul plane made me stop and think. I had no idea what sitting on the overnight train from Beijing to Harbin would do to me. Our trip is about ten hours long. We left just past 9 pm. I’m with the three boys (Sebastian, Jasper and their friend Adam) in one of the cabins. The boys fell asleep while we listened to Mantovani Christmas Music. I managed to sleep for 1.5 hours and am now awake, listening to Coldplay’s Viva La Viva album while the dark China night races past me. I haven’t really listened to Coldplay or U2 since I travelled regularly on business in 2009.
We are heading north… really north. We’re mostly passing through what I can only guess is countryside. Everything is dark with distant lights of occasional houses and buildings. Every few minutes or so we’ll pass something brightly lit during which I’ll be granted a four to five second movie of a cement factory or dimly lit building of some sort. The older buildings look as one would expect of rural China. On the roads there are rare moments of trucks lighting up country roads for the seconds that we pass by. Not all the buildings are old – some are super modern, sprawling industrial complexes providing odd contrast and representing the the train of progress pushing forward in China. Sprinkled on top of this window picture show will be the odd oncoming train racing past, providing a few seconds of Blade Runner style lighting.
Another contrast will be an old, dark bridge spanning across the top of the train tracks and a few seconds later a new modern bridge ablaze with lights. All in still of night while the skies are dark and clear. Above is a buffet of stars.
We’re coming from a few days in Beijing. Tess wrote the following in an email:
“We learned today the kids aren’t ready to be interested in culture. If they had their druthers they would have skateboarded through Tiannamen Square in 30 seconds flat and they were so uninterested in the Forbidden Palace that we stopped in the courtyard and left without paying admission. Their highlight was seeing if they could throw rocks into the moat surrounding the Forbidden City which would permeate the ice. We are trying to tell them that in a few days they will be sick and tired of ice. But right now they are thrilled. We did see a great Acrobatic Ahow that kept all the kids enthralled and the adults, too! We are staying at the Red Door at Mutianyu next to The Great Wall. Loving heated floors. The kids are loving the space and freedom. This is a great home, perfect for the 11 of us. Tomorrow we hike up the wall and ‘toboggan down’ but we will sleep in first. Then into Beijing, check in at 7pm for the 9pm train. And then the real cold…”
While at the station waiting for the train we sat with some strangers who found us curious beings… the kids with blond hair etc. Several of the kids, especially Sela, managed to practise their Chinese. There have been numerous times the last few days when the kids’ knowledge of Mandarin has cleared up some potential misunderstandings, particularly with drivers. At the train station, with some assistance from Google Translate to fill in a few missing words, Sela did quite well to strike up some conversations.
Sela Wrote a Book!
I wrote in my last post that Sela had a surprise… Sela has written a book: Summer Stories. The project began in August just after returning from Canada. I noticed Sela spending a lot of time at the computer but not for the purpose of playing video games or watching YouTube. Sela was typing something. I asked her what she was writing to which she replied, "a story." This went on for a few days then I asked Sela how many stories she thought she could write. Sela asked why. I suggested we put her stories into a book. I showed her some picture examples. Tess has completed many digital picture books in the past so the concept was not entirely new to Sela. Groupon had a special on with Moleskine, too. I bought the coupons. We missed the deadline.
Sela typed her way into November, all the time hiding the project from Tess. Sela's goal was to have the book be a surprise for Christmas. Everyone was in on the game. Even Sebastian, Jasper and Carys kept it a secret and let Sela use the computer whenever Tess was out of the flat and Sela wished to write. Very close to the publication date (i.e. when we were about push "print") Tess and I had a parent/teacher meeting during which I found another short piece by Sela. I took a picture of the story, later showing it to Sela.
"Do you have any other stories like this, Sela?" I asked. Carys jumped in… "Yes Daddy. You should read THIS story! It is soooo good!" Carys exclaimed, pushing a notebook into my face. I read the story. Indeed it was very well done. By that point Sela was spent. Close to the end of November, a long tiring term coming to a close, and while all the other stories were typed, this one Sela hand wrote.
"I dont think I have the energy to type out this story. It is really long," Sela explained.
"I'm your publisher, Sela," I replied. "I'll quickly type it out and make sure it is included. This last story is terrific." I went to work that Saturday afternoon madly transcribing the story into the book while Sebastian was off at his Colour My World practise. Sela and I then finalised the pictures, dedications, acknowledgements and off to the printer the book went. We obtained critical reviews from Sela's class teacher and my sister, Penny, also a writer and editor.
The net result is a 60 page book containing five short stories (approximately 7,500 words) written by Sela and a host of pictures from our summer in Canada. Alterations by the publisher and assistance from Penny was kept to a minimum in an attempt to capture the quality and age-related nuances of Sela's writing. The above picture is the cover.
We also shipped a copy to Sela's grandparents, Maureen and Blake Lyons, who have encouraged Sela to read and write to her heart's content. (About a year ago Blake gave his own Kindle to Sela as a present.) I had pre-arranged a Skype call to take place on Christmas morning between our Hong Kong family and Blake and Maureen in Yellowknife. The two ends of the Skype call opened the book together while I captured the moment on video. (Videoing the opening was really good advice, John B, thank you!)
You can read an online version of the book by clicking here.
OR Download Summer Stories by Sela Caldwell by clicking here.
Merry Christmas ~ God Has A Mug For You
Forrest Gump said, “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.” Do you think those who visited Jesus on the night of His birth knew Love? Do you think that they had within them a bright light of penetrating beauty and meaning? Did they gain it when they saw Baby Emmanuel on that silent night? Do you have it now? Chasing life day-to-day it’s easy to lose sight of His love. Everyone once in a while, less often than more, I do get a glimpse of God’s love, grace, or even a nudge of His Grace, saying: “Go that way.”
I had one of those nudges about three weeks ago right after the Union Church Children’s Christmas Pageant. The show was entitled “MTR to Bethlehem.” (As in the subway system or tube, for those unfamiliar with Hong Kong’s public transportation.) Following the show we learned that the church had mugs made… gorgeous mugs. The wonderful artwork was donated by a church member, Gavin Coates. The triplets crowded around the mug table, took one look at them, and of course wanted to give everyone a mug. I naturally said, “Oh no, that’s okay.”
That’s when I felt The Nudge. “Go that way… buy them… a lot of them.” I asked some questions and within a few moments I’d bought 56 mugs without approval from the Chairman of the Board (read Tess.)
I know that some of you might think I lead some sort of life of piety but I don’t. In fact I am very, very far from it. (Tess is the Super Mom, [it’s true, she’s even on the front of a magazine] I’m not the Super Dad.) Pushing aside the times I lose my temper with my kids, let’s just focus on Exhibit A: over the next few days I tried to think of how I might discretely back out of buying the mugs. Then I received The Church Email asking me when I would pick them up, and in fact if I wanted more! Once again I thought, “What am I going to do with so many mugs?” For a second time, I felt The Nudge… “Don’t worry about who will receive the mugs.” I married Haggai 2:8 and the mugs together in my mind’s eye, “‘The mugs are mine,’ declares the Lord Almighty.” I called the church and arranged to pick them up that night.
That night there was traffic from purgatory. Two accidents on the way into the city from my office that snarled everything. What a nightmare. Those few days in Hong Kong the weather had been VERY cold and lots of people were driving. I pushed on while accumulating points on Waze. Eventually I reached Union Church, took possession of the mugs and God went to work placing people in my path.
First, as I was exiting the church a gentleman, out of nowhere, walked into the church to inquire about services. Normally on Wednesday nights the young adults hold a service called Oasis but they were elsewhere holding a Christmas Party. After some other individuals talked to him I said hello. I thanked him for visiting the church, said, “I have a gift for you” and presented him with a mug. I explained the background to the mug. He was quite surprised at this gesture.
Second, around the same time I bumped into an acquaintance. I don’t know this individual that well but I’d been concerned about him because six months ago he became a serious risk to himself. His road to recovery has been positive, but long. Amazingly, for the first time in six months, he was in front of me along with a care worker and another friend. I stopped to speak with my friend, deeply penetrating into his eyes with as much care, concern and love as I could find within. After a few minutes of conversation I said to him, “I have a gift for you” and presented him, his friend and care worker each with a mug also explaining the background to the cup. The three of them were even more surprised by this gesture, but especially the care worker who could not believe he had just been given a Union Church mug.
By this time I really needed to get home. I hopped into the car and raced along Caine Road. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar face standing almost frozen at the side of the road. I hit the brakes, expecting a rock concert of taxi horns behind me. Fortunately the cars behind granted grace, and the familiar face very willingly clambered into the warm car. I quickly learned that she’d been shopping in Central and the lack of taxis, snarled traffic, led her all the way up to Caine Road in the cold weather with bags and bags of shopping. We drove to Pokfulam and had a nice catch-up. As we parted ways reaching her destination I said to her… “I have a gift for you.”
By now it was abundantly clear to me that God had a plan for these mugs. I heard the angels singing. I felt that bright light of penetrating beauty and meaning. I was inside a “pass through philosophy” where I was merely a mug conduit. Had I thought more about it, I would have said, “God has a gift for you.” I’m a little ashamed I figured that out after the fact. Regardless, the kids have passed the mugs on to many friends and teachers. For their teachers (and some of my co-workers) we wrote on the side of the box, “Please take me home” to ensure the school pantries and my office didn’t get loaded up with church mugs. I’m not a terribly smart person when reading people’s reactions, but I know appreciation when I see it… God’s mugs have been met with more joy than I expected. How ironic, that's usually how people react to God's love, too.
It’s now deep into Christmas Eve here in Hong Kong… well past 3 AM to be exact but I really wanted to crank out this story for Christmas. Tonight the family went to the 5 PM Family Service which was extraordinary. The entire church team was in their element. Their mug supply has been further depleted by Yours Truly. Pastor Greg delivered a powerful and emotional sermon on par with December 2007. After an evening of fun at home with three other families, I headed back to the 11 PM Candlelight Service. Afterwards I hunted down more people to be recipients of God’s mugs.
The last few weeks Pastor Greg has resurrected a passage from Howard Thurman that I love… “There must be always remaining in every man's life some place for the singing of angels — some place for that which in itself is breathlessly beautiful and by an inherent prerogative, throwing all the rest of life into a new and creative relatedness — something that gathers up in itself all the freshest of experience from drab and commonplace areas of living and glows in one bright light of penetrating beauty and meaning — then passes. The commonplace is shot through with new glory — old burdens become lighter, deep and ancient wounds lose much of their old, old hurting. A crown is placed over our heads that for the rest of our lives we are trying to grow tall enough to wear. Despite all the crassness of life, despite all the hardness of life, despite all of the harsh discords of life, life is saved by the singing of angels."
My prayer for each of you during this Christmas is that you experience penetrating beauty and meaning. And if you would like one of God’s mugs let me know – I’ll do my best to get one to you, while supplies last.
PS: Sela has a massive surprise for the world (starting as a Christmas present for Tess) so watch this space for an update in the next few days.
Real Christmas Magic #WestJetChristmas
This Westjet Christmas Story is amazing. It's one of those "why didn't I think of that" moments. The video speaks for itself but here is some additional information… Westjet predicted they'd receive a maximum 800,000 hits and that didn't happen. Instead, within a few days of the video going live it surpassed 13 million views from over 200 countries and was considered newsworthy in the UK, Australia, Japan, Poland and Malaysia.
I suspect, within us all, we each have a dream to be Santa. To do good for others. When I was young I knew there were families less privileged than mine. I often dreamt what it would be like to secretly buy them gifts that they'd find on Christmas morning. As the years passed I became involved in Easter Seals, church activities, ICM and opportunities presented themselves to give. All the statistics show, that today's millenials, Christians or otherwise, hold a higher propensity to serve: their demographic profile scores higher on the corporate social environmental responsibility curve than their predecessors. The younger Christians, a rising generation, call it "being the hands and feet" and that's typically how they wish to express their faith while shunning traditional church models.
Each person will have their own reaction to this video. Watch it and bring tissue.
#WestJetChristmas
