Four Years Old Today
Four years ago to the minute, Tess was in the hospital as were the triplets. I was at home. I had just posted the first pics of them in the NICU, while polishing off a part bottle of wine – or maybe all of it, can’t remember – and half a block of cheddar cheese. As I worked at the computer I listened to Dido’s songs "Life For Rent" and "White Flag" and "Here With Me" over and over and over, thinking that Lita must have thought I was crazy. (Ironic, because that was the start of a season when I waved a white flag to the Lord.) It was a rough night. As I went to bed, I recall praying that the triplets would live. My words fell on silence. There was no experience of grace from God, but I knew He was there, and I knew He knew that I knew He was there… odd, but just one of those things. Call it "expectant silence." Four years later as we held the triplets’ birthday party on the playground, my mind continued to emerge out of the long fog of four years, bewildered at where the triplets have come from, what they have accomplished, the incredible story of their survival and progress. The crowd sang each one of them "Happy Birthday." as each one took a turn blowing out the candle. During each song I choked up… unable to make my way through the moment. Just too overwhelming. On a lighter note you probably are all wondering, "what about the cake?" The cake… something very different: in keeping with the spiritual season that I find myself in these days, I made a cake of a Christian monastery atop of a mountain. Simple. Symbolic. Spiritual. Do you believe me?
